blast of fresh air

another funny story is that the baby has been chillin on a section of my intestines and trapping this massive fart for days. i wasnt able to push this bad boy out no matter what i tried! i had the worst gas pains in my right side just under my ribs and once in a while i could hear the baby mocking me as it squeezed tight to torture me. three days went by and i was miserable.
on the third day we flew to TN....and my world was about to change and the sun was once again about to shine.

i sat on the plane next to a chinese man about 4'2 and prob no more than 80lbs with a full bladder and a nugget on board waiting to be expelled.
the flight takes off...i can feel the bubble....dangit baby! let me be free again! release my farrrrrt before i die!

as the plane comes to a steady altitude and the seatbelt sign goes off, i feel it starting to surface-HALLELUJAH! this is it. i could sense the clouds starting to part....
as i rush down the aisle apologetically smacking everyone with my massive hard belly and getting the most hateful looks ever i dont care. got gas on the brain.
in the bathroom, sit down and push....nothin...push harder....are youkidding me?! this thing is like the spotted owl all of a sudden. no where to be found. BAHHHHHH!
so i walk back to my seat and now i am pissed. i am smacking people on purpose now just to release anger.
i get back in my seat and buckle up...wha...?
there it is again! bubble....bubble...glurch....bubble
as i glance to my right and eye up the possible blame-ee..... i think-what do i have to lose? this chinese man is too small to do anything to me if i fumigate the whole plane. he is kinda crippled too so people will probably EXPECT something like that to come out of him, not me, the sexy hot pregnant girl...
i contemplated it for about another minute and realized that its now or never. just do it.
so i did an incognito lean and out came this 20 minute blast of silent yet joyful windstorm from my petite caboose.

as the gas was expelled, my eyes closed in sync with satisfaction.

wow. better than sex!!

im snapped back into reality when i feel a peircing gaze from my right slicing me up raw.

my head turns slowly and we make eye contact.
 his eyes squinted more than normal and his lip is curled,he knows and he looks disgusted!

after a brief moment of shame, i look down and just shrug my shoulders. i dont know what youre talking about mr chinese man....wasnt me....are you sure it wasnt you?