how exxon valdez came to be...

well...since this is my first post, and i am not a professional blogger---i must ask that one would forgive the errors in my spelling (i graduated from an akron school and i have pregnancy brain farts), must excuse my blunt and at times way too descriptive language ( like to be expressive and colorful -wheres my filter? its clogged.) and i dunno how often i will write in here...hell....i don't even know if anyone will read this. But it gives me an outlet other than my journal and sitting helps with my flatulence.

lets begin
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i found out i was pregnant accidentally. i mean, yes we were actively trying for 5 months, but i had no clue his sperm made it to the EGGLANDS BEST store, bought gin and tonic, then wooed my sexy ass egg into partying...resulting in them both passing out in my uterus.

i was cramping, and as far as i was concerned was ready to get my period (sorry men).
the past 4 months were negatives even after all the nights of whips, handcuffs and swinging from the chandelier.
so i was tired of wasting money and emotional time on these dum dum prego tests.yes i am the most patient person i know...though marco would disagree.
anyhow, Marco pushed the dreaded issue after i was a measly 1 day late, so i tinkled on the stick like a good little girl. Wasn't but 3 seconds later (ok maybe 6 1/2) that i looked over and saw TWO LINES glaring at me!
wha.....?!
Dude...shut up.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
(called marco at work)...why do you sound so weird crystal?"
(auction seller speed)umm...i peed on the stick and now two lines are mocking me, I'm cramping really bad but i think it worked, im pregnant"
(dramatic pause)....wait....what? i didnt quite catch that, it sounded like you said you're pregnant"

the tears started falling, the panic set in, and oh my gosh im gonna puke.

exxon valdez was created.

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